Help! I Don’t Want to be Single!


It’s the beginning of a new year/decade….let’s face it, some of us are older and wiser. We’re ok with being wiser. Older and still single…that’s not always ok. Yes, Americans are living longer nowadays…still, not too many live to see 100. And those that do are limited in physical abilities. According to a report published in 2019, the average life span overall for U.S. males is 79…for females, it’s 81.

Beginning 1/1/2020, I began reading Genesis, the book of beginnings, as part of my daily devotional regime. It’s  comforting to single Christian women, like myself, to read that a woman named Sarah, the mother of nations (our spiritual heritage), birthed her first natural child at the age of 90. She laughed when God said she would have a son. You would’ve laughed too. That’s old!

Sarah’s LifeShe lived to be 127. Her biological son, Isaac, had her in his life for 37 years. She missed out on pivotal events–his marriage, birth of his kids, and what they had become.

Why did you wait so long, God? You had the power to release her from infertility at any age!”

We don’t know the details surrounding His appointed delay but we do learn this, DELAY IS NOT DENIAL! And He had a perfect plan! For that reason, she was given grace to carry and birth a child at 90. She missed out on a lot, but God did keep His promise!

There are Christian singles, who, at the age of 40, 50, 60, and older are discouraged because of their single status. Some are divorced, widowed, others, as of now, have been single their entire life. Some are content with their current status but still want to be married prior to gaining their heavenly wings. Some have relatives pressuring them–wanting to know when they’re going to “tie-the-knot.” Then there’s others adding fuel to the fire who hint, subtly, time after time, that they’re too old or too set in their ways to marry. Though some are holding on to “hope,” in the face of there being no good prospects in sight, discouragement, even depression settle in at times. In light of these things, what are they to do? Settle for less because they’ve now reached an age where their remaining days are possibly much less than the days behind them? Using myself as an example of one who has the same hope as others—to be one of the ones that experience marital bliss, my current life-living days are 21K plus. If I live to be 100, I have about 15K days remaining. Again, it’s not the norm for people to live that long. I should be discouraged right? WRONG! Yes, I said, WRONG. Let me share not just my reason but our reason for not having a reason to feel utterly hopeless though we’ve already been single for a big portion of our lives. 

We (W) Are (R) Obstables (O) In (N) God (G)

What does that mean? It speaks to our current position in life…our spiritual position….you and I are in God. We are in a personal relationship with “Abba Father.” One that is full of goodness! If He has promised to be good and give good gifts to His relatives, then age is no factor in His determination of when and how He chooses to showcase His personal goodness to us! We don’t have to succumb to people’s comments, or our current age, physical ailments, or anything else by accepting them as obstacles to our hope that an awesome marital partnership will soon form. God is our Father! Have you committed your hope to God through prayer? If you have, then that’s your obstacle, along with faith and the Word! They are obstacles that block the people’s comments, and your own discouragement when you allow them to be your focus. Instead of age discouraging you because you see it as an obstacle to marriage in various ways, know that YOU, positionally, are an obstacle to it! You sit in a seat of authority where you CAN, by your Father’s WORD, block every thought and idea that come against your faith that it will happen. You sit in heavenly places! Let the acronyms, “W R O N G”, remind you of who you are in God. 

“When the enemy hints to you directly or through others that you are too old or set in your ways to get engaged and married, tell him or them that they are “WRONG! Then let em know that God will not withhold any good thing from them that walk upright before Him…age or stage of life are not His hindrances.”

“When he talks to you directly or through others to remind you that you have too many days behind you, tell em that God said, your latter days will be your best days! And let em know that it’s your Father’s good pleasure to give good gifts to His kids at any age.”

We are privileged kids. We have responsibilities, but we also have rights and benefits in God. He blesses us with the desires of our heart when they align to His will. Cease feeling bad or sad about your current marital status. Neither become so desperate that you fall for anyone. You have prayer rights! Things may not have worked out up to now but that’s ok. One entity that does work–prayer works! “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” So work your prayer life, baby….a response is inevitable!


In all honesty, some of us may need to do an assessment of our own personal well-being, even give personal attention to behavior exhibited in the past that may have contributed to the delay in acquiring our heart’s desire.  I can think of a few of my own faults and failures to be attentive to for purposes of avoiding as I go forward in life.

                          HIS PURSUIT

We know that the man is the pursuer. There’s a familiar saying, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” There’s some truth to that but a good godly man wants more than a good chef or cook. He wants a virtuous woman…one full of good character.

Christian Single, since you no longer desire to be single, then be these 8 things to at least get attention. It’s not all inclusive–it’s just a few “be-attitudes” to engage in as you walk in expectation of your big day.

Lady of worth, of high value….be positive, optimistic about this marriage matter….most likely, positivity will lead you to being a “Bride to Be!” The year has just opened….it can happen this year! Now, I make no mention of physical attraction in the above list. Don’t get me wrong, men value physical attraction. But God’s man is more likely to put emphasis on the quality of the women’s heart. Like Jesus said, “blessed are the pure in heart!”

There are certainties in life…women have babies, men don’t, birds fly in the air, fish don’t, positive faith get positive results, unbelief, discouragement, and doubt don’t. Choose to believe when the odds are evident. Choose to believe when age-related ailments might have settled in. Faith pleases Him and gets positive results! Be the ONE to take advantage of your rights, privileges and benefits. God’s responsible for everything else! Matter of fact, He has a blessing with YOUR name on it. You may have less days now than before; the important thing is to make your days count–single or married.

               S I N G L E     M A T T E R S

                   IT’S NOT OVER

So what you’re older now. So what you’ve already given someone many years of your life who didn’t deserve your hand in marriage…it’s not over! God’s still blessing His people. Go and be blessed with the best. Somebody’s waiting for you to cross their path. But watch out for the counterfeits! They are out there, too. 

                SINGLE AGAIN 

Becoming single again can be a time of both danger and opportunity. The opportunity is to strengthen your heart and mind so you will move on healthy and whole. The danger is that you do not complete the healing process. 


Ladies, when you go out on your first date with him, be prepared to ask him a fun question like, “What makes you smile? Then tell him to explain his response!

                YOUR FIRST DATE


                CONTACT INFO/PAGE                                          

Christian Single, visit my contact page and leave your name/info….I will be praying for and with you for your heart’s desire to come to pass. Blessings to each of you. 

Visit my website page here, and FaceBook page (VaNest Travels, LLC,)  and learn how you can become adventurous, meet new people, travel the world, and simply enjoy your journey all the way to marriage and ever after! 


Check out the below video interview. I guarantee you these two gorgeous Christian ladies will encourage your heart against being too old for your desire to come to pass.


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